Engineering dating jokes

A: After all the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached. Q: Which one of your children will never grow up and move away? A: A process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred Q: Why is marriage is like a violin?

Q: What's the difference between a paycheck and a penis?I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way.""Well," said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: "Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS". The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!" The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.” The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.” The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.” The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

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